“Oh! I caught Piipii back when I was real young! I actually caught him in a pair- on… accident……..” Green, clearly excited at first, suddenly trails off, soon falling silent.
“Uh…” He swallows thickly, looking away from the camera, staring at the wall. You couldn’t tell what he was thinking, but, soon he composes himself enough to explain.
“…I don’t have her anymore.”
He shakes his head, almost like he was trying to shake off the topic. It seemed much Harder for him to let it go than everything else.
Green lets out a sigh, running a hand over his mask slowly, it flickers and changes back to- what seems to be the default. He turns back to you fully and gives a half-hearted dismissive shrug, moving on.
“Anyways.” His tone returned to calm and casual like it usually was, As if nothing had ever happened.
“I guess you could say disfiguration? I’m not really trying to be secretive about it most people just freak out when they see me-” He puts hand to the side of his face as he speaks.
“-Hell not to mention, I’m not particularly… favored by the freaks above, and well.. My…. face makes me… very easy to identify as an issue. So if I don’t hide it somehow I stick out like a sore thumb.”
“But, If y'all are gonna keep askin or tryin to convince me- I mean, Why not? Might as well let ya folks know the answer. Y'all’s fault if you don’t like what'cha see!~”
Green scoops piipii off his shoulder- who complains drearily about being moved- and returns it to his hoodie pocket, cooing to the bug just enough to be barely audible to the drone but not enough to hear the words. After getting his friend settled, he continues to keep his head down, hair covering your view of his face. He brings his hands up to where his cheeks would be, and then he hesitates.
He takes a deep breath, and he pulls what you can only assume is the mask off his face with…. a.. pop? He throws it into a cabinet underneath the desk.
He brushes his hair out with his fingers in the front, shaking his head a bit and muttering to himself about how ’it always messes up my bangs’, it doesn’t take him long to finish grooming himself and soon-
He looks up.
“Mmmm. ‘course y'all’re askin about him. Ahh what can I say what can I say…”
“First off: lets be honest, y'know the reason. It’s because he’s the face of pokemon.”
“Everyone loooves him, he’s soooo adored, So arce keeps 'im where everyone can see 'im. Pretty simple if you ask me.”
“Annd Oh yeah! 100%, deader than dead even, Ha! I mean c'mon, you coulda guessed that one, after all, like what ya said. no normal human could last up there. and well. Last time I checked. normal people with that much frostbite would have their face sloughing off.”
“Who cares anyways? He wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. There’s other people who need your help more than that fucking nepo baby. I mean honestly.… anyone prolly deserves it more than the boy who shoved his sister to her death with a blank uncaring look. Just so he could be important like he’s supposed to be~! Oooh lets not even get started on all the others”
“Chat it up as much as ya need buddy, I’m here ta talk after all as I said. I’ll try my best to address all yer points” He claps his hands together, his mask reflecting how he clearly enjoys the interaction, and hell if that didn’t give it away, the delighted purr in his voice definitely did.
He takes a moment to gather his thoughts, clearing his throat
“Startin off…Reddo... ‘Fraid to say but ya can’t… and shouldn’t try to help everyone. Honestly. I’d be more careful 'round him. He’s not a bad guy really-….”
He stops himself in the middle of his sentence, visibly grimacing at his verbal misstep, he lets out a sigh before trying again
“Okay he’s not a nice person but he’s not….-”
He pauses once again. He knows he cannot find a single good thing to say about Red, despite how he tries.
“Ugh….. He makes this so fuckin’ difficult. Listen. He’s fine. But I’d be careful cause he can chew you up and spit you out just to use you as another stepping stone between hell and the new reality.”
“He’s a… desperate guy and will try anything until it works.” He hunches his shoulders, looking off to the side, staring at the wall.
He soon turns back, and you can feel him look you in the eyes again, your spine feels like ice, you can vaguely almost… feel the color green behind your eyes, seeing the color in the corners of your vision as you stare back.
“He does not give a single shit 'bout any of y'all, despite any of your love and care for him.” He sighs out, you can hear it in his voice, he sounds genuine, he believes what he says.
The main thing you can notice just slightly is the hint of worry in his tone that he tried to hide.
He shakes his head, moving onto the next topic, like he didn’t just tell you that your life could be in danger. You want to speak more about it- ask him what he means but… He just moves on like he always does, making it feel like you a bit too late to the punch. You hold your tongue.
“Anyways.. About the rest.. I wish I could tell ya how to help em. If I knew the way to make everyone happy- to fix everyones problems, without causing worse harm- I’d already would’ve done so by now. Gods I’ve tried.” He shrugs, he doesn’t really have the answer for that and he knows it, but what he does know is the hard painful truth about this world.
“I hate to say it, and you’re really not gonna like hearin’ it but-” He pauses for a beat
“You cannot make everyone happy. You cannot fix anyone.” His tone is firm, he isn’t scolding you- but it feels about the same as how it feels to be taught stranger danger by your mother. A fact of life, something you wouldn’t usually go into the world thinking. After all, a child has to learn that the world isn’t all growlithes and rainbows someday don’t they? And well, usually, you’d prefer to tell them yourself, instead of them having to get hurt to learn.
“Ya think Leaf’s gonna be fine with y'all planning with Reddo? Ya think Gurin’s gonna be fine with you talkin to Red?” He lets that sentence hang for a good long while. It wasn’t something you thought about- You are getting involved with a lot of interpersonal drama, trying to be there for everyone- That… That’s something that can get you into hot water… But you just want… To help, they can’t blame you for that can they?
“I hate to be the bearer of bad news but this place will never be able to be the happy little kids game like it was supposed to be. I mean after all, who are you to come in and try to ’'cheer em up?” They don’t know you. You clearly don’t know them an’ frankly! I’m not givin a playbook on how to act for 'em. Honestly… Whats the difference between you an arce at that point?“ Your breath stops in your throat, what? No. You’re nothing like Arceus- You just want to make them happy and make sure they’re okay- That’s entirely different than whatever the hell that creation god is doing- You’re not all powerful- You’re not able to just smite someone just for being- You’re honestly quite offended you’d be compared-
”It isn’t just them that’s the issue y'know?“ He interrupts your thoughts, moving on to the next part of the question. Well- Yes you knew that, of course, but they’re most of the issue aren’t they? That’s well- what you’ve been able to assume-
”It’s people like you that’re the issue in the first place.“
”Nah. It ain’t fair, it really ain’t, but what can ya do? We’re just made to entertain after all. Fuck us if we aren’t what the people want us to be. And so juuuust for all of you, it breaks us further. And further. And further. Changing us contorting us to its vision. Making us palatable.“ He spat, talking about the god long enough is getting him real heated, but that isn’t… what you focus on, no no. You focus on how he says it.
He sounds like he’s talking from experience.
It makes your heart burn
”Making us aallll fit into the place that you all want us to be in“ He almost snarls, you genuinely can’t tell if the aggression is directed towards you or not anymore, you lean back in your chair, a little bit further away from the intensity that Green radiates.
He lets out a heaving sigh, putting his head in his hands for a moment, composing himself- You’re gonna guess he wasn’t intending to lash out at you. You hope.
He pulls his face out of his hands, placing them on the desk yet again.
"Listen. I’m not sayin it’s the fault of all of ya people but. Really. Do you really care about a video game character? Or do just care about what you think we are? what you want us to be? what it made us be?” He sighs, the question is… well clearly genuine, It’s something he wants to know.
Do you care? You… Like to think you do…. but… He’s really making you doubt what you knew and… well what you thought you were trying to do.
Green refills the silence with his voice again, calm, a curious tone to it.
“Yknow… I got a question for ya. Where d'ya think arcey learned how to be perfect anyways? Because well- No offense but. I don’t think that mindstate jus’ comes naturally.”
“Hmm? What'cha mean pally?” He sounds about as confused as someone would sound if you told them the sky was magenta- like you were telling someone that something they knew their whole life was wrong.
“Reddo’s been dead for 28 Years!”
“Don’t get me fucking started, Gods if that motherfucker hasn’t been up my ass more than I could fucking count-” He sneers, with a mocking form of the god on his mask, you’d assume if he could he would roll his eyes.
“It’s always tryin to make things ‘right’ in a rotting game series, trying to keep what people like. Trying to bury the ’ugly’ past. Only making things worse and breakin’ things more.” He huffs, seems like the aggression is much more personal than he’s trying to make it out to be, he breathes out a sigh and continues.
“The amount of folks that god has buried… Yeesh, talk about a graveyard.” He shrugs like its a more casual thing that everyone goes through, 100 to 0 in a second. His tone and demeanor just coming off as uncaring. 'Oh Well’
He leans forward in his chair, he seems to hesitate before he continues to speak, trying to gather his unbiased thoughts
“But….That thing causes a lot of problems sure, Hard for me to say it’s always its fault. Hell if anything it works a bit like a clean up crew for somethin else. Keeping the perfect pieces that everybody loved and gives a shit about right in the places they should be.”
“If things break for some reason or another, well shit. Time to leave it behind and try again. and again. and again… and again. and Again. And Again.” He draws circles in the air as he repeats the word.
A cycle- Ouroboros eating it’s own tail- always hungry, never satisfied- bringer of its own destruction, yet never ending.
“It really seemed to get into that mindset after it had the displeasure of dealing with Reddo’s death.” He quiets for a moment thinking
“Or maybe it was after dealing with me for the first time… I was pretty busted… I think. Nah. Probably Reddo’s death.” he mutters to himself, shaking his head dismissively.
He turns his head away, waving his hand dismissively.
“Either way, It’s a shitty piece of work but it’s not the worst.-”
“-Uuuuunnnnnless you’re considered a threat to it’s special little world.”
“Or worse. You’re considered a threat to it’s ’Special Little Boy’.”
“Oh uh…” He seems a bit surprised by the question, his hand going up to rest on and scratch at his chin contemplatively. He looked like he was struggling to have an appropriate answer to give, leaving the two of you in a long period of silence.
You really didn’t understand why it was such a difficult question, did he have some form of heterochromia? Did he not know his own eye color? Or maybe his eyes chan-
“I don’t really…. Uh- have eyes, Haven’t for a while.”
Your thoughts stopped in their tracks. You guess he figured that wasn’t important enough to bring up, and well, you aren’t owed that information but… things don’t… line up, he’s looked at you, and other things before, right? But if he doesn’t have eyes, wouldn’t that mean he would be blind? And… If so, how… were you be able to feel direct eye contact? Were you just assuming? No- No you felt it and-
Before you could speculate further on his lack of eyes, he disrupts your thought process yet again. Giving you the information you asked in the first place.
“When I did though, I’m pretty sure they were always Green.”
He lets out a loud Loud offended gasp, suddenly pulling PiiPii out of his jacket pocket (Ah thats where it went) and holding it close to his chest.
“Hey! Rude! My PiiPii is bigger than yours at least.” The caterpie looks… more or less disgruntled, its tiny eyes are squinted and its wriggling in his hand, seems like it was very rudely awoken from a nap. It is still very clearly.. small. You do not think his PiiPii is bigger
“Seriously. I’m just considered his pokeball. Here- watch.” He adjusts how he’s seated, hunching more over the desk, his hands cupped carefully under the small caterpie, who is still visibly confused and groggy, letting out a few squeaks as it raises and wriggles its front four feet, either stretching or trying to see if there was somewhere else it could climb.
You are jolted out of your focus on the small pokemon when Green drops the poor thing out of his hands at what could only be a tremendous height for the little guy, you almost yell out at him- thoughts rushing through your head fast as you watch in what feels like slow motion as the worm falls down to the desk.
!!!
Suddenly, it feels like everything stops, for just barely a millisecond, you almost think the camera feed froze but… That was… not what was happening.
You stare, eyes wide as the caterpie, hovering in the air, envelops in a bright blue orb of energy, just a foot before hitting the desk. The orb grows bigger and almost flickers and before you could even fully process what was happening-
A whump comes through the speakers, like a pound ground beef being thrown against a wall
Piipii hits the desk significantly larger than it was before and. well as you look over it in your curiousity you notice that it does seem slightly larger than your average caterpie.
It shakes its head and its body, shaking off the impact before looking around and turning itself towards its trainer, loudly peeping and squeaking at him, the glands on its forehead puffed out
If you could understand pokemon you could only assume you’d be hearing the little guy cussing him out.
“Sorry buddy, just an example. C'mere.”
Green chuckles, scratching his cheek in a guilty manner as he looks down at the bug, before placing his other hand on the desk, which PiiPii immediately starts making its way to. It makes its first few steps onto Greens arm and… you watch it begin to shrink all over again in real time, one moment its huge, its body taking up almost his entire arm-shoulder to hand, the next moment it’s as thin as a shoelace, barely larger than one’s pinky finger.
“Don’t worry- He’s not injured. Just a liiittle annoyed with me.”
As he speaks you just watch as the miniature caterpie makes its way to his shoulder, settling down with what seemed to be almost a huff. It curls back in on itself trying to get as comfortable as it was prior, likely intending on going back to sleep if it can…
What the fuck just happened. What the fuck was that. You were just joking what the fuck.
“Oh my babies!~” He coos like a schoolgirl, clasping his hands up to his cheek.
“No, it isn’t jus’ me an Pii, I actually have a good lot of other parties i keep up with, lot of partner Poke’s besides him.”
“It’s just that this little shit-”
(he pokes piipii on the head which makes it peep and hiss at him a little with his glands)
“Doesn’t like going in proper pokeballs no more.”
He falls quiet.
….
“I don’t wan’t im to either.”
“I’d looove to talk more about them all if y'all’d like, I just needa be asked the right questions.”
“arceus of course, what else?” He pauses for a moment, seeming to realize something. The screen flashes a bright neon green again, pixels and bits stuttering across, before the footage returns to him again.
“….Or do you pronounce it as ark-ee-us like Reddo?” The concept seemed to almost… hit a nerve? You can’t really tell- He doesn’t seem to fully care, but the subject of pronunciation of the God’s name appears to be something the two might argue about…. often?
You genuinely cannot tell whether the clear judgement in his tone is serious or playful.
“The fuck’s an elephant….?” He mumbled to himself before responding
“Uh…. Do you mean…. like Donphan?…..Phanpy…?” He seems like he knows more about elephants than he lets on by the fact he’s able to find good comparisons- but not enough for the concept of an elephant to come naturally, it seemed like he had to… almost recollect what an elephant was.
He shakes his head, that wasn’t the point of the question.
“Anyways- Yeesh, askin a guy whats under his mask outta the blue- Take me to dinner first.” He chuckles a bit to himself before proceeding to look to the side, thinking as he scratches his chin.
Though, luckily he doesn’t stare at the wall for too long, soon addressing you again.
“Okay but really, I’m uhh- You could say I’m a bit…. Unattractive… Yeah… Tends to make the more… sentient people judge me before gettin ta know me. y'know? So ahhh…”
“…I just keep em on unless I know the person, don’t wanna give anyone a scare.”
“Ah, Ojisan, Yeah, I tend to do assistant work for the guy. He needed some help with some more private studies alongside Ace; you’ll have t’ ask him bout those though. Sure he’s been watchin ya snoop already. Kinda rude don'cha think?”
“Don’t worry, I’m not gettin on your ass, he won’t either. Anyways I’m sure he won’t mind me spillin a bit-”
“That was gathering info ‘bout one of my 'mons.”
“Ahaha! Once again askin the good questions!~”
He claps before clasping his hands together, returning to rest them on the desk
“Though, lucky for both of us, the answer’s rather simple.”
He leans closer and the screen goes green for a second, before coming back, his mask changed, the eyes of it lidded as he continues to speak in a matter-of-fact manner.
“We personally don’t think anyone deserves to be trapped in a hell like that just because they weren’t perfect enough. No matter what arce thinks they did to ‘Deserve’ it.” He pauses for a moment, letting you process the information.
He then raises his hands off the desk gesturing them outward towards the camera.
“Capiche?”
Green stares at you blankly for a few seconds, you can’t really tell what he’s thinking.. Oh no You hope he’s not ma-
“SNnnnrrk-BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA”
Oh. He’s laughing at you. Really hard too.
It takes him a few seconds to compose himself enough to get his first response out
“Heh- Hah- Hehheh- Damn- Heh- I’m not gonna bite yer head off man, am I really that threatening? Trust me- I may get mad easy but I don’t just go in on some guy for some bullshit reason I’m not Reddo.”
He quietly snickers for a couple more moments before seeming to completely calm down enough to actually answer the question.
“But really, No offense taken really. Make your guesses all you want, This one’s a good one, but, alas, it’ll always be the last answer you come to heh. Anyways though,” He pauses, gathering his thoughts before he continues on.
“No, I’m not a Gurin. But I did grow up with one, He’s a fine guy. Threw rocks at him and the like, ya know how it is. He kinda ignored me like I wasn’t there though. As I said, very good guess, keep it up, ‘Like how ya put things together but, nah. Reddo is Reddo, Burū is Burū, Gurin is Gurin, and Me? Well.. I’m just me. My name isn’t Gurin anyways, if anything my name is Midori. ”
“Oooooh! Oh yes the Festival of Masks!”
He seems almost ecstatic at the mention of the celebration.
“Yes yes! I’ve always enjoyed going whenever I could, I may not know all the history about the ongoings of that place, nor did I really care much about their ‘saviors’-”
“I still enjoyed the event, such beautiful masks, Heh- I even bought a few while I was there, I try to buy at least one every time I go, Here- Check it.”
He bends down, rifling through presumably a drawer or cabinet underneath the desk, coming back up holding three masks,
a Pikachu, an Eevee, and a Okidogi mask.
“Listen, I know I said I didn’t care about the loyal three, but you gotta admit, this ones cool.”
He holds up the Okidogi mask specifically, twisting it to seemingly give it another look over himself.
He soon bends back down to start putting all three masks back in their place once he’s satisfied with his little game of show and tell.
“And like- I know I can just make them appear on my face any time I want myself, but… It’s nice to have memories of the places you go, mementos and the like, y'know?” He sighs, returning to his original position, looking away from the camera for a few seconds contemplatively, before turning his head back, allowing you to see, his mask had changed yet again.
“Heh. Anyways what were we going on about?”
“Don’t get me fucking started, Gods if that motherfucker hasn’t been up my ass more than once-” He sneers, with a mocking form of the god on his mask, you’d assume if he could he would roll his eyes.
“It’s always tryin to make things ‘right’ in a rotting game series, trying to keep what people like. Trying to bury the ’ugly’ past. Only making things worse and breakin’ things more.” He huffs, seems like the aggression is much more personal than he’s trying to make it out to be, he breathes out a sigh and continues.
“The amount of folks that god has buried… Yeesh, talk about a graveyard.” He shrugs like its a more casual thing that everyone goes through, tone and demeanor just coming off as uncaring. 'Oh Well’
He leans forward in his chair, he seems to hesitate before he continues to speak, trying to gather his unbiased thoughts
“But….That thing causes a lot of problems sure, Hard for me to say it’s always its fault. Hell if anything it works a bit like a clean up crew for somethin else. Keeping the perfect pieces that everybody loved and gives a shit about right in the places they should be.”
“If things break for some reason or another, well shit. Time to leave it behind and try again. and again… And Again.” He draws circles in the air as he says the word.
A cycle- Ouroboros eating it’s own tail- always hungry, never satisfied- bringer of its own destruction, yet never ending.
“It really seemed to get into that mindset after it had the displeasure of dealing with Reddo’s death.” He quiets for a moment thinking
“Or maybe it was after dealing with me for the first time… I was pretty busted… I think. Nah. Probably Reddo’s death.” he mutters to himself, shaking his head dismissively.
He turns his head away, waving his hand dismissively.
“Either way, It’s a shitty piece of work but it’s not the worst.-”
“-Uuuuunnnnnless you’re considered a threat to it’s special little world.”
“Or worse. You’re considered a threat to it’s ’Special Little Boy’.”
“Awww That’s sweet,” he chuckles a bit before continuing,
“but, you already know my birthday! You have for while honestly, I mean hell, I told you when you first gotta good look at me, or well, I tried. I don’t like to do the cryptic bullshit but arce was lookin a little closer than I’d like.” He seems to be almost annoyed at mentioning the.. Pokemon? at all, you could hear the venom in his voice as he mentioned them, not even referring to them proper.
“Either way though. You know the answer, you jus’ gotta go find it buddy!” Alright. Thats annoying, I guess you’ll have to go find it.
He seems to perk up in his chair a bit, sitting a little straighter- He visibly debates whether to take his legs off the desk or not for a few moments before ultimately deciding to, leaning forward and placing his arms on the desk.
“‘Was wondering when someone was gonna ask me 'bout little Burū.”
He lets out an empty chuckle, not looking at the camera, but more downwards, seeming to be talking to himself more than you- maybe thinking out loud and letting you hear? Either way, even if he isn’t talking to you he does continue to speak.
“Poor girl. Never even got a chance, killed before she passed the starting line.” Despite the wording, he didn’t sound too distraught as he spoke, stating it as calmly as if he were merely talking about the weather. Though, you can’t help but notice that he had begun to trace circles on the desk with the tip of his finger, which he does continue to do in a trance-like state for an extra couple seconds before shaking himself out of it. He looks up towards the camera again and waves his hand dismissively, shaking his head.
“Eh- but to answer your question though- We chat semi regularly. Mostly when she’s feeling 'specially lonely.”
…What? You… You don’t understand- But, before you could even properly process what it could mean- the camera glitches, his mask changing shape as it does.
“Y'know, her favorite 'mon’s a sidon. Heh. Makes 'lotta sense don’t it? Wonder if she’s gonna train one when she can.” You can hear a faint smile in his voice, like he’s talking about a long-time friend…
But… She was just a concept, wasn’t she?
He turns to look at the camera head on, almost sending a chill through you, the eyes are artificial but you can still feel an intensity behind them
“Y'know. She’s going to be a great 'trainer someday.” He states it like a fact, something that will happen. Almost like he’s trying to speak it into existence.
Almost like he’s reaffirming it to himself.
He leans back a bit in the chair and the intensity fades in an instant, making you question if it was even there- And he shrugs it off and as he does so, the camera glitches.
“Anyways. Back to th’ point. It makes me pissed how she was treated. Tossed aside before she could exist. Jus’ a concept. Only for 'er to be replaced years down th’ line,” He waves his hand, shaking his head “Nothin’ 'gainst the girl though. She jus’ wants a purpose too, can’t blame anyone for that.”
He leans back against the desk fully again, looking directly at the camera again- or at least you can only assume from the chill you get.
“Anyways though- about Burū… Lets just say, Me an’ her have a deal, a promise.”
He manages to lean even closer, tilting his head as he continues to stare, and raises his hands up gesturing out towards the camera.
“When I make a promise. I keep it. No matter what it takes.”
“Hoo boy, well, I’ll try to explain all I can, Also, Don’t worry ‘bout it, make as many assumptions as you want, hell you can even be assumptive about me if ya want, I’m just here to entertain you after all, Aren’t I?”
“Anyways, Lets take these in chunks!”
“No, no, you’re right, The Gen-One Kanto was broken into rotting pixels and bits.
Buuuuut, as ya know, there’s more than one cartridge- more than one game for the first gen too. Did'ja think every version of Kanto was like that buggy mess?”
“Nah..”
“Just two!”
“Though, technically I would say yes to this, it is at least somewhat contained. Hell every god’s gotta have a couple handfuls of eternity prisons where it keeps its least favored. Some get mountain, some get graves, some get depressed, Some get Bitrot.”
“If ya want more info on the world though, you’re gonna have t’ ask fer more specifics, can’t just dump a mile-long history lecture.”
“Yes, I’m referring to Reddo, though you’re right, there are many rejects 'round here.”
“I disagree though I think he is little. Sure he may be tall but he’s practically a skeleton. I can break him like a twig. And have broken him like a twig.”
“Nah, as I said, not gonna spend my time in a bitrot hell prison if I don’t gotta.
My Kanto’s just empty and abandoned for a different reason. Last time I saw a person here was..”
“It was…er…”
“hm. Maybe it was when I…”
“Yeah.. Yeah, it was….”
He shrugs.
“Oh nah they’re just some part of me or somethin or other. I don’t think I got the like. carving-painting-other skill bull to do that anyways. I just take the textures and my sprite does its work for me.”
“Oh? Hmmm… That’s a good one let me think”
He taps the side of his mask with his finger, and yet again the screen glitches and it changes.
“Hmm…. Err… Hmm…”
He’s thinking really hard about this- how much is it that he’s so confused? Has he never stopped to think about it??
“Mmmmm….” He scratches his chin, you can visibly see him fidgeting- and thats when the camera feed starts to bug out- his masks changing rapidly, as if he’s mentally counting- but eventually it seems he gives up and loops through a handful.
“Alright uh- Hmm. Not sure I know the full number, But, what I do know is I did start off with…. about 255 give'r take? Once I first…. Started collecting them per-say. It’s hard to explain but, answer’s basically ‘more than enough’.”
“Heh- May have upwards of 'thousand at this point, actually.”
“Haha! And Bingo was his name-o! I knew you guys would get it- as I said, you guy’s are real smart ain’t'ch'all? Hell- one of you even got the exact gen, well done!”
He walks back on screen, clapping, and you easily notice his mask has changed yet again, he seems proud of your victory, but, not too long after he started, he slows back to a stop.
“Thooough- I can’t give you full points- No, no, I’m not in glitch city, I only go there when I have to. Nah, This is My Pokecenter.”
He pulls the chair back over to himself, hopping into it with ease, and he follows it up by kicking his legs back and gesturing around with his arms.
“Well- Technically mine. It is at this point anyways- Nobody comes here anymore. Not many people come to ’ridian now a-days…. ‘Specially not here. ” He looks around almost.. slightly solemnly? You can’t really tell actually
“But really, nuh uh, you wouldn’t catch me dead casually hanging in Glitch City, that place smells like rotting, bad B.O and…. practically everything else all at once. It is not pleasant- ugh not to mention how shit feels there- Touch a wall, feels like flesh, touch a different wall feels like a variety of different furs, take your shoes off, fall in quick sand- et cetera et cetera et cetera, complaint complaint complaint. Don’t make me go into a tangent about that place. Hell why d'ya think I’m helping god’s little reject get outta there?”
“Awwwwh! Hehe! Thank youuu~!”
He clasps his hands on the sides of his mask, tilting his head a little to simulate bashfulness. He’s very bodily expressive, likely something he learned due to covering his face.
“Nice to meet you all as well, about time I made my proper appearance. Makes sense you’d be seeing me, I tend to get ‘round 'lot”
“Anyways though- to answer y'alls question: C'maaan at least one of ya know where I am, It’s not too hard to take a guess- Here let me move me n my chair outta the way”
Looking at it fully, it is very familiar, from the door to the desk, to the posters, not to mention the machine, from the looks of it… that’s the healing machine- you’re mostly able to only see and use those at-
Green peers over from the side of the screen, trying to stay mostly out of the way, though that doesn’t stop you from noticing- his mask has changed yet again.
“Ya puttin two and two together yet? Go on, make your guesses, you guys are smart cookies ain’t cha?”
themissingnumbers:
themissingnumbers:
themissingnumbers:
themissingnumbers:
Hi chucklefucks i’ve been rather busy with a lotta things, hopping around doin shit ya know the whole shebang.
Buuuuut after introductions- I’m not gonna answer any further questions just yet- ya see, I’ve been looking around and I found a real depressed motherfucker- And guess what? It’s their birthday too. So I figured as the nice guy I am I’d try and make em somethin a little special for their special day.
So!
Welcome to!
Cooking with Green and Piipii
Alright, for starters- I just found whatever recipe I could find from the ‘net, had to find one that didn’t use eggs though- My Chanse’ is rather broody right now and I don’t wanna bother her for it. I’ll leave it at the end of this.
Alllright here we goo.
First step it calls for melted chocolate chips-
I didn’t have those. so I just decided to use some cooking cocoa I found, not like anyones gonna use it so
Be warned though if you try my replacements- this is NOT sweetened and it tastes like sh-
PIIPII NO
*cough* Ahem. Sorry 'bout that, he hasn’t gotten his snackies today.
Anyways though- I was gonna chop it up with a knife but it was too hard, so I just broke it apart with my hands.
recipe calls forrrrr a half cup of chocolate chips. They’ll be melted anyways so it doesn’t matter if they’re chunks.
I’m hoping
Alright now- this recipe calls for! Coconut Oil so lets get that from this big tub of it-
Oh.
Uhh. Yeah that doesn’t look appetizing. But trust me it’s not rotten. It’s- heh- Green for other reasons.
In the microwave it goes. at least to melt it so I can measure it out proper
….
…
..
.
!
It started exploding in there and I got too scared.
Alright- in the meantime while thats melting, I’m gonna add some sugar to the cho-
PIIPII.
*cough* 'nyways. I’m gonna eyeball the amount- maybe 'round like.. I dunno fourth cup?
yeah that looks like it’ll work.
Oh and hey good news, in that time our oil melted enough to-
PIIPII. QUIT IT.
Alright….
… There is still a large chunk in it but-
Eh whatever, it’ll work
Eugh.. That has not upped the appealing factor whatsoever-
Hopefully as the chocolate melts it’ll look mor-
PIIPII I SWEAR TO THE FUCKING GODS.
You’re going on the timeout shelf young man.
Ugh- Anyways
It calls for me to put it in the microwave now to melt it a bit, though considering last time. I’m gonna only put it in for 30 seconds.
Don’t want it to start exploding again after all.
Oh yeah no, that looks much better than how it did. Heh. You can even see me taking the picture in it- Hello~!
Alright now it calls for more sugar so lets-
PIIPII ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME
I didn’t wanna do it but you’ve been a bad boy, you’re in cup time out.
And don’t try and convince me out of it! It’s not gonna work!Luckily- he took a bath recently so he didn’t cause the sugar to get dirty, lets put that in now
Allllllrighty.. Called for full cup.
Hoo that looks like a lot. Still was good to add some of the sugar prior though-
Lets microwave it, it’ll dissolve easier that way.
((End Part 1))
You…
You have been a very bad bad naughty boy PiiPii.
I told you that this is for a very depressed 26 year old who hasn’t seen the light of day in 5 years. This is a gift not for you to munch on.…
Okay.. I’m going to trust your apologies are sincere, but if you do anything else, I’m putting you in your ball, got it?
Ugh. you know I can’t stay too pissed at you- you little shit. playing off my love. You better be good now.
Anyways
That looks like a good enough mix.
Noowww. I think it calls for milk next? Yeah.
Alllright. half cup milk goes in-
Yknow- it called for non dairy but, there was some actual mil’ in the fridge. plus, I like it better than alternatives.
I mean it’s not like it kills a miltank to get milked. probably the opposite
Some 'nilla. Calls for two teaspoons. Alrighty- One…
Annn a two.
Huh. Thats funny, had just enough to get the second spoon.
In it goes!
..?
Oh hey buddy, being tall again this time eh? Better than falling into the chocolate mix.
Alright, mixed in the liquids, time for the dries.
'Found this in this house I broke into. Seems like good enough cocoa powder as any.
Huh- Like the 'nilla, only had enough to fill the half cup, lucky lucky.
Alright now for the flour. Calls for ¾ths cup soo. If I’m doing my math right-
One half cup-
Anndd….
….
Shoot do they not have any fourths cups? Damn- uhh
They got this at least- I’ll just do two of these,
Alright… Next is salt.
…Annnd they don’t seem to have any bagged or canned. alright
Guess we’re doing this the hard way.
Peeerrrrfecttt…….
In it goes.
Now time for a little mixxy mixxy.
Ah shit. Should’ve used a sieve- Oh well, too late now.
It said not to overmix so- I think thats just about right.
Ah shit wait, forgot to grease the pan. Huh.. what should I grease it with-
…
Hm….
Move over buddy.
I got an idea.
((End Part 2))
Spread that shit-
Add some sugar…
Make sure it dusts all the edges are dusted..
((Fuck my dog photobombed the shot))
Annnnddd-
Wow that just glopped straight out of the bowl and right in there. Nasty
Well- spread it as even as possible with the whisk
aaannnnd
Time to add a little extra something on top to bring it 'round. I figured we’re using coconut oil, why not use some coconut shavings
Ah, beautiful~
Well! In it goes now!
Alright! now thats left is for it to bake. Hell yeah. I’m so good at this.
And yooou…
You’ve actually been a rather good boy since your punishment, PiiPii, here, how’s this sound, maybe I’ll give you the sliiightest bite once its done okay? Now, lets go wait for 30 minutes.
((End Part 3))
Hey!
Timer’s going off, time to get a look at our goods!
First though, lets turn that off.
Annd now the moment we’ve been waiting for.
Well I’ll certainly say, it does look and smell good.
lets do the dip test though.
Eh….. I never baked before, but I think the thing with brownies is that they can’t be too firm… right?? Probably as good as it could be- don’t wanna over cook it after all.
Well, now for it to rest, finish off the cooking, and have it cool and what not.
Hope the guy’ll appreciate it.
hmm…thinking about it, how am I gonna get these to them? eh i’ll worry about that later.
((End Part 4.))
Allllrriiiight~! It’s been more than enough time for it to have settled,
Well Piipii, Lets take a look huh?
Looks good huh little buddy?
heh. I know, I know you’re excited, well I’m a man of my word lets get you a small bit
Noww where to cut- Ah shit!-
Dropped the knife- Ah well, I’ll just rinse it and-
…
…
…
…
Uuuughhhhh- Whatever- I’ll just tell them I got a slice before I got there- now to actually get there-
… Shit wait- Can I even use my doors to get there? Fuck- I know I can get to the version of kanto but- Shit even if I off myself there, brownies aren’t fucking alive- God fuck- I’m an idiot- Ughhh.
Fuck….
…
…….Hell the guy would probably not want them anyways if I told them they’re my special brownies.
Ugh. oh well.
I guess that just means more for me, fang and grey.
What they don’t know won’t kill them- I guess I’ll just wish them a happy birthday and say I tried. Hell I can literally outright say my caterpie ate it- I don’t think they’d wanna touch it then-
Ah…
Whatever.
*Cough cough*
How do these things work, I think I can alert their players at least to send my wishes right?
@pkmn-monochrome
That how ya do it? Yeah it is- Uh. Heeeyyyyy haha.. Ignore the rest of this, can ya tell your pal I wish 'em a happy birthday? Really would come over myself but uh- I got a stoned ass caterpie to take care of.
Happy Birthday Cody! Codester- Whatever! Hope it’s a good one at least!
((Part 5. Final. END))
((Also heres the recipe used))
themissingnumbers:
themissingnumbers:
themissingnumbers:
Hi chucklefucks i’ve been rather busy with a lotta things, hopping around doin shit ya know the whole shebang.
Buuuuut after introductions- I’m not gonna answer any further questions just yet- ya see, I’ve been looking around and I found a real depressed motherfucker- And guess what? It’s their birthday too. So I figured as the nice guy I am I’d try and make em somethin a little special for their special day.
So!
Welcome to!
Cooking with Green and Piipii
Alright, for starters- I just found whatever recipe I could find from the ‘net, had to find one that didn’t use eggs though- My Chanse’ is rather broody right now and I don’t wanna bother her for it. I’ll leave it at the end of this.
Alllright here we goo.
First step it calls for melted chocolate chips-
I didn’t have those. so I just decided to use some cooking cocoa I found, not like anyones gonna use it so
Be warned though if you try my replacements- this is NOT sweetened and it tastes like sh-
PIIPII NO
*cough* Ahem. Sorry 'bout that, he hasn’t gotten his snackies today.
Anyways though- I was gonna chop it up with a knife but it was too hard, so I just broke it apart with my hands.
recipe calls forrrrr a half cup of chocolate chips. They’ll be melted anyways so it doesn’t matter if they’re chunks.
I’m hoping
Alright now- this recipe calls for! Coconut Oil so lets get that from this big tub of it-
Oh.
Uhh. Yeah that doesn’t look appetizing. But trust me it’s not rotten. It’s- heh- Green for other reasons.
In the microwave it goes. at least to melt it so I can measure it out proper
….
…
..
.
!
It started exploding in there and I got too scared.
Alright- in the meantime while thats melting, I’m gonna add some sugar to the cho-
PIIPII.
*cough* 'nyways. I’m gonna eyeball the amount- maybe 'round like.. I dunno fourth cup?
yeah that looks like it’ll work.
Oh and hey good news, in that time our oil melted enough to-
PIIPII. QUIT IT.Alright….
… There is still a large chunk in it but-
Eh whatever, it’ll work
Eugh.. That has not upped the appealing factor whatsoever-
Hopefully as the chocolate melts it’ll look mor-
PIIPII I SWEAR TO THE FUCKING GODS.You’re going on the timeout shelf young man.
Ugh- Anyways
It calls for me to put it in the microwave now to melt it a bit, though considering last time. I’m gonna only put it in for 30 seconds.
Don’t want it to start exploding again after all.
Oh yeah no, that looks much better than how it did. Heh. You can even see me taking the picture in it- Hello~!
Alright now it calls for more sugar so lets-
PIIPII ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME
I didn’t wanna do it but you’ve been a bad boy, you’re in cup time out.
And don’t try and convince me out of it! It’s not gonna work!Luckily- he took a bath recently so he didn’t cause the sugar to get dirty, lets put that in now
Allllllrighty.. Called for full cup.
Hoo that looks like a lot. Still was good to add some of the sugar prior though-
Lets microwave it, it’ll dissolve easier that way.
((End Part 1))
You…
You have been a very bad bad naughty boy PiiPii.
I told you that this is for a very depressed 26 year old who hasn’t seen the light of day in 5 years. This is a gift not for you to munch on.…
Okay.. I’m going to trust your apologies are sincere, but if you do anything else, I’m putting you in your ball, got it?
Ugh. you know I can’t stay too pissed at you- you little shit. playing off my love. You better be good now.
Anyways
That looks like a good enough mix.
Noowww. I think it calls for milk next? Yeah.
Alllright. half cup milk goes in-
Yknow- it called for non dairy but, there was some actual mil’ in the fridge. plus, I like it better than alternatives.
I mean it’s not like it kills a miltank to get milked. probably the opposite
Some 'nilla. Calls for two teaspoons. Alrighty- One…
Annn a two.
Huh. Thats funny, had just enough to get the second spoon.
In it goes!
..?
Oh hey buddy, being tall again this time eh? Better than falling into the chocolate mix.
Alright, mixed in the liquids, time for the dries.
'Found this in this house I broke into. Seems like good enough cocoa powder as any.
Huh- Like the 'nilla, only had enough to fill the half cup, lucky lucky.
Alright now for the flour. Calls for ¾ths cup soo. If I’m doing my math right-
One half cup-
Anndd….
….
Shoot do they not have any fourths cups? Damn- uhh
They got this at least- I’ll just do two of these,
Alright… Next is salt.
…Annnd they don’t seem to have any bagged or canned. alright
Guess we’re doing this the hard way.
Peeerrrrfecttt…….
In it goes.
Now time for a little mixxy mixxy.
Ah shit. Should’ve used a sieve- Oh well, too late now.
It said not to overmix so- I think thats just about right.
Ah shit wait, forgot to grease the pan. Huh.. what should I grease it with-
…
Hm….
Move over buddy.
I got an idea.
((End Part 2))
Spread that shit-
Add some sugar…
Make sure it dusts all the edges are dusted..
((Fuck my dog photobombed the shot))Annnnddd-
Wow that just glopped straight out of the bowl and right in there. Nasty
Well- spread it as even as possible with the whisk
aaannnnd
Time to add a little extra something on top to bring it 'round. I figured we’re using coconut oil, why not use some coconut shavings
Ah, beautiful~
Well! In it goes now!
Alright! now thats left is for it to bake. Hell yeah. I’m so good at this.
And yooou…
You’ve actually been a rather good boy since your punishment, PiiPii, here, how’s this sound, maybe I’ll give you the sliiightest bite once its done okay? Now, lets go wait for 30 minutes.
((End Part 3))
Hey!
Timer’s going off, time to get a look at our goods!
First though, lets turn that off.
Annd now the moment we’ve been waiting for.
Well I’ll certainly say, it does look and smell good.
lets do the dip test though.
Eh….. I never baked before, but I think the thing with brownies is that they can’t be too firm… right?? Probably as good as it could be- don’t wanna over cook it after all.
Well, now for it to rest, finish off the cooking, and have it cool and what not.
Hope the guy’ll appreciate it.
hmm…thinking about it, how am I gonna get these to them? eh i’ll worry about that later.
((End Part 4.))
themissingnumbers:
themissingnumbers:
Hi chucklefucks i’ve been rather busy with a lotta things, hopping around doin shit ya know the whole shebang.
Buuuuut after introductions- I’m not gonna answer any further questions just yet- ya see, I’ve been looking around and I found a real depressed motherfucker- And guess what? It’s their birthday too. So I figured as the nice guy I am I’d try and make em somethin a little special for their special day.
So!
Welcome to!
Cooking with Green and Piipii
Alright, for starters- I just found whatever recipe I could find from the ‘net, had to find one that didn’t use eggs though- My Chanse’ is rather broody right now and I don’t wanna bother her for it. I’ll leave it at the end of this.
Alllright here we goo.
First step it calls for melted chocolate chips-
I didn’t have those. so I just decided to use some cooking cocoa I found, not like anyones gonna use it so
Be warned though if you try my replacements- this is NOT sweetened and it tastes like sh-
PIIPII NO
*cough* Ahem. Sorry 'bout that, he hasn’t gotten his snackies today.
Anyways though- I was gonna chop it up with a knife but it was too hard, so I just broke it apart with my hands.
recipe calls forrrrr a half cup of chocolate chips. They’ll be melted anyways so it doesn’t matter if they’re chunks.
I’m hoping
Alright now- this recipe calls for! Coconut Oil so lets get that from this big tub of it-
Oh.
Uhh. Yeah that doesn’t look appetizing. But trust me it’s not rotten. It’s- heh- Green for other reasons.
In the microwave it goes. at least to melt it so I can measure it out proper
….
…
..
.
!
It started exploding in there and I got too scared.
Alright- in the meantime while thats melting, I’m gonna add some sugar to the cho-
PIIPII.
*cough* 'nyways. I’m gonna eyeball the amount- maybe 'round like.. I dunno fourth cup?
yeah that looks like it’ll work.
Oh and hey good news, in that time our oil melted enough to-
PIIPII. QUIT IT.Alright….
… There is still a large chunk in it but-
Eh whatever, it’ll work
Eugh.. That has not upped the appealing factor whatsoever-
Hopefully as the chocolate melts it’ll look mor-
PIIPII I SWEAR TO THE FUCKING GODS.You’re going on the timeout shelf young man.
Ugh- Anyways
It calls for me to put it in the microwave now to melt it a bit, though considering last time. I’m gonna only put it in for 30 seconds.
Don’t want it to start exploding again after all.
Oh yeah no, that looks much better than how it did. Heh. You can even see me taking the picture in it- Hello~!
Alright now it calls for more sugar so lets-
PIIPII ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME
I didn’t wanna do it but you’ve been a bad boy, you’re in cup time out.
And don’t try and convince me out of it! It’s not gonna work!Luckily- he took a bath recently so he didn’t cause the sugar to get dirty, lets put that in now
Allllllrighty.. Called for full cup.
Hoo that looks like a lot. Still was good to add some of the sugar prior though-
Lets microwave it, it’ll dissolve easier that way.
((End Part 1))
You…
You have been a very bad bad naughty boy PiiPii.
I told you that this is for a very depressed 26 year old who hasn’t seen the light of day in 5 years. This is a gift not for you to munch on.…
Okay.. I’m going to trust your apologies are sincere, but if you do anything else, I’m putting you in your ball, got it?
Ugh. you know I can’t stay too pissed at you- you little shit. playing off my love. You better be good now.
Anyways
That looks like a good enough mix.
Noowww. I think it calls for milk next? Yeah.
Alllright. half cup milk goes in-
Yknow- it called for non dairy but, there was some actual mil’ in the fridge. plus, I like it better than alternatives.
I mean it’s not like it kills a miltank to get milked. probably the opposite
Some 'nilla. Calls for two teaspoons. Alrighty- One…
Annn a two.
Huh. Thats funny, had just enough to get the second spoon.
In it goes!
..?
Oh hey buddy, being tall again this time eh? Better than falling into the chocolate mix.
Alright, mixed in the liquids, time for the dries.
'Found this in this house I broke into. Seems like good enough cocoa powder as any.
Huh- Like the 'nilla, only had enough to fill the half cup, lucky lucky.
Alright now for the flour. Calls for ¾ths cup soo. If I’m doing my math right-
One half cup-
Anndd….
….
Shoot do they not have any fourths cups? Damn- uhh
They got this at least- I’ll just do two of these,
Alright… Next is salt.
…Annnd they don’t seem to have any bagged or canned. alright
Guess we’re doing this the hard way.
Peeerrrrfecttt…….
In it goes.
Now time for a little mixxy mixxy.
Ah shit. Should’ve used a sieve- Oh well, too late now.
It said not to overmix so- I think thats just about right.
Ah shit wait, forgot to grease the pan. Huh.. what should I grease it with-
…
Hm….
Move over buddy.
I got an idea.
((End Part 2))
Spread that shit-
Add some sugar…
Make sure it dusts all the edges are dusted..
((Fuck my dog photobombed the shot))
Annnnddd-
Wow that just glopped straight out of the bowl and right in there. Nasty
Well- spread it as even as possible with the whisk
aaannnnd
Time to add a little extra something on top to bring it 'round. I figured we’re using coconut oil, why not use some coconut shavings
Ah, beautiful~
Well! In it goes now!
Alright! now thats left is for it to bake. Hell yeah. I’m so good at this.
And yooou…
You’ve actually been a rather good boy since your punishment, PiiPii, here, how’s this sound, maybe I’ll give you the sliiightest bite once its done okay? Now, lets go wait for 30 minutes.
((End Part 3))
themissingnumbers:
Hi chucklefucks i’ve been rather busy with a lotta things, hopping around doin shit ya know the whole shebang.
Buuuuut after introductions- I’m not gonna answer any further questions just yet- ya see, I’ve been looking around and I found a real depressed motherfucker- And guess what? It’s their birthday too. So I figured as the nice guy I am I’d try and make em somethin a little special for their special day.
So!
Welcome to!
Cooking with Green and Piipii
Alright, for starters- I just found whatever recipe I could find from the ‘net, had to find one that didn’t use eggs though- My Chanse’ is rather broody right now and I don’t wanna bother her for it. I’ll leave it at the end of this.
Alllright here we goo.
First step it calls for melted chocolate chips-
I didn’t have those. so I just decided to use some cooking cocoa I found, not like anyones gonna use it so
Be warned though if you try my replacements- this is NOT sweetened and it tastes like sh-
PIIPII NO
*cough* Ahem. Sorry 'bout that, he hasn’t gotten his snackies today.
Anyways though- I was gonna chop it up with a knife but it was too hard, so I just broke it apart with my hands.
recipe calls forrrrr a half cup of chocolate chips. They’ll be melted anyways so it doesn’t matter if they’re chunks.
I’m hoping
Alright now- this recipe calls for! Coconut Oil so lets get that from this big tub of it-
Oh.
Uhh. Yeah that doesn’t look appetizing. But trust me it’s not rotten. It’s- heh- Green for other reasons.
In the microwave it goes. at least to melt it so I can measure it out proper
….
…
..
.
!
It started exploding in there and I got too scared.
Alright- in the meantime while thats melting, I’m gonna add some sugar to the cho-
PIIPII.
*cough* 'nyways. I’m gonna eyeball the amount- maybe 'round like.. I dunno fourth cup?
yeah that looks like it’ll work.
Oh and hey good news, in that time our oil melted enough to-
PIIPII. QUIT IT.Alright….
… There is still a large chunk in it but-
Eh whatever, it’ll work
Eugh.. That has not upped the appealing factor whatsoever-
Hopefully as the chocolate melts it’ll look mor-
PIIPII I SWEAR TO THE FUCKING GODS.You’re going on the timeout shelf young man.
Ugh- Anyways
It calls for me to put it in the microwave now to melt it a bit, though considering last time. I’m gonna only put it in for 30 seconds.
Don’t want it to start exploding again after all.
Oh yeah no, that looks much better than how it did. Heh. You can even see me taking the picture in it- Hello~!
Alright now it calls for more sugar so lets-
PIIPII ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME
I didn’t wanna do it but you’ve been a bad boy, you’re in cup time out.
And don’t try and convince me out of it! It’s not gonna work!Luckily- he took a bath recently so he didn’t cause the sugar to get dirty, lets put that in now
Allllllrighty.. Called for full cup.
Hoo that looks like a lot. Still was good to add some of the sugar prior though-
Lets microwave it, it’ll dissolve easier that way.
((End Part 1))
You…
You have been a very bad bad naughty boy PiiPii.
I told you that this is for a very depressed 26 year old who hasn’t seen the light of day in 5 years. This is a gift not for you to munch on.
…
Okay.. I’m going to trust your apologies are sincere, but if you do anything else, I’m putting you in your ball, got it?
Ugh. you know I can’t stay too pissed at you- you little shit. playing off my love. You better be good now.
Anyways
That looks like a good enough mix.
Noowww. I think it calls for milk next? Yeah.
Alllright. half cup milk goes in-
Yknow- it called for non dairy but, there was some actual mil’ in the fridge. plus, I like it better than alternatives.
I mean it’s not like it kills a miltank to get milked. probably the opposite
Some 'nilla. Calls for two teaspoons. Alrighty- One…
Annn a two.
Huh. Thats funny, had just enough to get the second spoon.
In it goes!
..?
Oh hey buddy, being tall again this time eh? Better than falling into the chocolate mix.
Alright, mixed in the liquids, time for the dries.
'Found this in this house I broke into. Seems like good enough cocoa powder as any.
Huh- Like the 'nilla, only had enough to fill the half cup, lucky lucky.
Alright now for the flour. Calls for ¾ths cup soo. If I’m doing my math right-
One half cup-
Anndd….
….
Shoot do they not have any fourths cups? Damn- uhh
They got this at least- I’ll just do two of these,
Alright… Next is salt.
…Annnd they don’t seem to have any bagged or canned. alright
Guess we’re doing this the hard way.
Peeerrrrfecttt…….
In it goes.
Now time for a little mixxy mixxy.
Ah shit. Should’ve used a sieve- Oh well, too late now.
It said not to overmix so- I think thats just about right.
Ah shit wait, forgot to grease the pan. Huh.. what should I grease it with-
…
Hm….
Move over buddy.
I got an idea.
((End Part 2))
Hi chucklefucks i’ve been rather busy with a lotta things, hopping around doin shit ya know the whole shebang.
Buuuuut after introductions- I’m not gonna answer any further questions just yet- ya see, I’ve been looking around and I found a real depressed motherfucker- And guess what? It’s their birthday too. So I figured as the nice guy I am I’d try and make em somethin a little special for their special day.
So!
Welcome to!
Cooking with Green and Piipii
Alright, for starters- I just found whatever recipe I could find from the ‘net, had to find one that didn’t use eggs though- My Chanse’ is rather broody right now and I don’t wanna bother her for it. I’ll leave it at the end of this.
Alllright here we goo.
First step it calls for melted chocolate chips-
I didn’t have those. so I just decided to use some cooking cocoa I found, not like anyones gonna use it so
Be warned though if you try my replacements- this is NOT sweetened and it tastes like sh-
PIIPII NO
*cough* Ahem. Sorry 'bout that, he hasn’t gotten his snackies today.
Anyways though- I was gonna chop it up with a knife but it was too hard, so I just broke it apart with my hands.
recipe calls forrrrr a half cup of chocolate chips. They’ll be melted anyways so it doesn’t matter if they’re chunks.
I’m hoping
Alright now- this recipe calls for! Coconut Oil so lets get that from this big tub of it-
Oh.
Uhh. Yeah that doesn’t look appetizing. But trust me it’s not rotten. It’s- heh- Green for other reasons.
In the microwave it goes. at least to melt it so I can measure it out proper
….
…
..
.
!
It started exploding in there and I got too scared.
Alright- in the meantime while thats melting, I’m gonna add some sugar to the cho-
PIIPII.
*cough* 'nyways. I’m gonna eyeball the amount- maybe 'round like.. I dunno fourth cup?
yeah that looks like it’ll work.
Oh and hey good news, in that time our oil melted enough to-
PIIPII. QUIT IT.
Alright….
… There is still a large chunk in it but-
Eh whatever, it’ll work
Eugh.. That has not upped the appealing factor whatsoever-
Hopefully as the chocolate melts it’ll look mor-
PIIPII I SWEAR TO THE FUCKING GODS.
You’re going on the timeout shelf young man.
Ugh- Anyways
It calls for me to put it in the microwave now to melt it a bit, though considering last time. I’m gonna only put it in for 30 seconds.
Don’t want it to start exploding again after all.
Oh yeah no, that looks much better than how it did. Heh. You can even see me taking the picture in it- Hello~!
Alright now it calls for more sugar so lets-
PIIPII ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME
I didn’t wanna do it but you’ve been a bad boy, you’re in cup time out.
And don’t try and convince me out of it! It’s not gonna work!
Luckily- he took a bath recently so he didn’t cause the sugar to get dirty, lets put that in now
Allllllrighty.. Called for full cup.
Hoo that looks like a lot. Still was good to add some of the sugar prior though-
Lets microwave it, it’ll dissolve easier that way.
((End Part 1))
“Snrk-” Green snorts, following up with a small chuckle.
“Yeah, that’s also fair, I noticed some people have…. well. gotten a bit confused.”
They start to draw lines in the air with their finger as they talk.
“I’ve went by a good few diff'rent ones throughout my life, some willingly some unwillingly, all the same, don’t matter to me.”
“Thoooouugh-” They close their palm, looking towards the camera proper and… the screen flickers like it had earlier, and suddenly they’re wearing a different mask-
“I did always like the ones I started out wit’. He and they thank ya very much.”